Shanice Shamzy Thompson

Hum, Hallelujah

The basement of my heart is earth quaking
for poems to reconstruct me.
If I was a puzzle set,
would you be able to piece together my bigger picture?
No, I’m not a little house on the prairie
or a lake in the meadows; but maybe — just maybe I’m a barn.
My chest bared open
with children playing jungle gym on my rib cage.
I like to think that when Van Gogh painted Starry Night
he was painting the stars behind my eyelids
I’ve been desperately trying to reach.
Would you spare me the extra fingers to make it?
And if I fall short, will you look at me like a miracle in progress?
Something pending, like a Facebook Friend Request—
I swear,
if you would just give me 20 seconds of silence
I can do something.
I want to cause you an out of body experience
and I won’t take “no” for an answer
because if you listen closely to the bass of my metaphors
you will hear the Hallelujahs that you are in the line breaks.
When I grow up, I used to want to inherit something of my mother
but I’ve long since noticed I don’t look like her anymore
and that’s okay because her voice box shoots daggers
through the hole in my heart that closed up when I was two.
The doctors say that my heart overcompensates
that it works a little too hard for its own good
so I’ve been singing it love songs
telling it that it doesn’t have to be good enough anymore.
It just has to be good.
There are people in my life that treat me like I’m breaking bad
that I’m broken and that they have to walk around me
avoiding grenades.
Truth is, I’m slowly trying to break myself open
because I want to look like freedom is the most scarred of ways.
When I grow up, I want to be ground zero
so that whenever someone looks at me
they’ll sing amazing grace.

Shanice Shamzy Thompson more commonly known by the name Shamzy is in her second year at USF double majoring in Secondary English Education and Creative Writing. She is also pursuing a minor in Women and Gender Studies. She chooses to be identified with the gender neutral pronouns because they are not defined by the heteronormative gender binary. Through her creative works she tries to explore and express the human condition through deconstructing the individual’s effect on the world and the world’s effect on the individual because personal growth stems through relationships whether positive or negative.